What I've Learned After One Year of Marriage: Reflections from the Outer Banks

Kyle and I just returned from spending an amazing 3 days in North Carolina's Outer Banks in celebration of our first anniversary. Wait - really? I cannot believe I've been someone's wife for over a year now...and what a memorable year it has been! 

Ups. Downs. Flips. I've learned a lot, to say the least. For example...

1. I'm more selfish than I ever realized. When you're single, there are at least a few decisions in life that you can truly make alone. Once married, they all but vanish. In everything I do, I must consider Kyle. Hair appointment? Of course. Grocery list? Sure. New shirt? Yep. I cannot spend my money or my time selfishly and without regard to my husband. Why? Because he's my other half. 

2. The way someone argues says a lot about their character. If anyone says she never argue with her spouse, she's lying through her teeth. Arguments happen, and they can ultimately strengthen a relationship if they are truly learned from. More times than not, I learn more about Kyle in our moments of disagreement than I do in our moments of complete harmony. Why? Because, if taken positively, disagreement breeds conversation, consideration, and discussion. 

3. No newlywed knows what they're doing. It doesn't matter how many books you read, how much counseling you get, or how many friends and family members lend their advice...at the end of the day, you find out you must sometimes simply make it up as you go along.

4. Sillyness is a gift.  Kyle is constantly poking me or making a funny face or calling me a silly name. Sometimes, it annoys me to no end. But, one night in the Outer Banks, after 5 minutes of having the giggles, I realized that Kyle's love for sillyness is something that I should appreciate, not scorn. Life's a lot more fun that way. 

5. Plans are more like guidelines than actual rules. Captain Barbosa (from Pirates of the Caribbean) said the same of what he called "the Code." In the same way, plans are great, but they're no map to the future. This is a hard lesson learned for me, the quintessential Type A personality. 

6. Women will never understand men, and I'm okay with that. And by the way, the opposite is also true. This is a problem that used to plague my thoughts, and I was determined to overcome it. Now, it's almost a blessing...like a frustrating, insolvable, wonderful mystery. 

7. You need together time. Only 1 in 20 married women are blessed with a date night every week with their husband. 1 in 3 married women gets a date once every 7 months or less. I cannot stress this enough: Couples. Need. Time. Together. Kyle and I try to take a getaway every 5 or 6 months, and its amazing to see the difference when we get back. The week before we left for the Outer Banks, anyone could tell that we needed to get away. This year, we're going make our dates more consistent and our time together more sweet. 

Here's to another beautiful year.