How to Be A Good Wife

I am greatly indebted to the friend who showed me an article from Good Housekeeping the other day. The article was published in the May 1955 issue, and it was entitled, "How to Be a Good Wife." Underneath the title were several bullet points that illustrated what must be done in order to present yourself and the house to your husband once he returns home from a long day at work. Although some were in fact great ideas, I would like to entertain you with those that were (fortunately) left in the 1950s, along with poodle skirts, beehive hair, and yellow refrigerators.

- Freshen up your make-up and put a ribbon in your hair before he comes home. You should present yourself as a gift to him.

-Never complain if he comes home late, or leaves the house again to visit some other place of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, and his need to unwind.

-Over the cooler months, you should prepare a fire for him to unwind by.

-It is always a good idea to have freshly baked bread ready for your husband when he arrives home - the sweet smell of baking bread will help him to relax and unwind.

...Okay, so I took this last one for a test drive. Kyle and I were given a bread maker when we got married, and it finally came out of the box last night. I have been wanting to use it for a long time, but too apprehensive to do so. Below are the results of my 3-hour bread baking endeavor...

  Step One: Take bread machine out of box. Success!

  The first round of kneading is complete. No catastrophes thus far.

After 2 hours and 55 minutes, I lost all hope when I opened the machine and saw this.

   It made it out alive! And, according to Kyle, it's actually even edible.

Unfortunately, during this long and painstaking process, I neglected to put a ribbon in my hair or start any fires in the middle of the living room. However, I still maintain that this endeavor would satisfy the writers of Good Housekeeping, and I think that they would be even more pleased that I wore this apron while I was baking...